You’re camping. The serenity is just what you needed. The breeze sways the treetops, the fire is warm and crackling, you’ve got your beloved s’mores complete with Hersey’s chocolate. The brook is babbling.
The brook is babbling?! What do you do when nature calls but you’re a lady who is stuck in nature?
Keep calm and fear not. This post is dedicated to the age-old female problem of using the little girls’ room in the great, wide open space that is the outdoors. Avoid the ridicule of your masculine counterparts by being prepared and keeping that complaint about lack of proper equipment to yourselves and read on.
Unless the idea of wiping with a waxy leaf or some stray pine needle sprays is appealing to you, be sure to provide your own toilet paper. Chances are, if you are camping with anyone but your mother, the will not think to pack your favorite Charmin despite the cute, woodsy bear mascot on the package. One roll should cover you but remember, friends are made where extra T.P. is had.
The Scenic Location
Be sure to seek out a secluded spot of wilderness so you won’t be disturbed. Be aware of sloped ground leading down to the nearest clean water. No one wants contamination to be an issue… or their sneakers to become victims.
Last but not least, be sure your pants are where you can see them at all times. No one wants to re-live their embarrassing preschool “accident” days and find it necessary to use the precautionary “accident pants.”
The How-to Do…. Do
I highly recommend the assisted squatty-potty. This is done by propping oneself against one of nature’s best oxygen-producing friends, a tree. Be sure you choose one on level ground and bend your knees as to not disturb the flow.
According to CampingTrip.com, there are other ways to achieve the worry-free outdoor pee including holding onto a thinner-trunked tree (which can hold your weight!) and leaning back, finding an abandoned log or stump and scooting forward, and the buddy system. The buddy system isn’t for the shy or the new friend you made because you brought that extra toilet paper. It involves gripping a friend’s hands and leaning back to simultaneously go at once.
Like I said, not for the faint-hearted or faint-stomached.
The camping experience shouldn’t be one of anxiety or discomfort. Once you brave the chill of the night air or the solitude that is not your Clorox-scrubbed home bathroom, we ladies can pitch camp with the best of them.